I have to admit, lately, parenting has felt extremely chaotic, not to mention exhausting and life-consuming. I have mentioned this before. I haven’t thought much as why its been so exhausting, I’ve just been so consumed with trying to get through each day, my reflective thoughts and joy have been absent. Every morning I’ve been wishing for bed time to hurry up and get here. This is not a place I like to be in. That got me thinking, why is parenting so hard these days? Why am I so heavy hearted? I came across this verse earlier:
God is not a God of disorder, but of peace.
I know this and believe this, but parenting has been anything but peaceful lately. My life has been anything but peaceful lately. To be honest, I don’t really expect it to be peaceful all the time. After all, this world is one big messy place and my life is messy too. But, I do hope to be peaceful as I parent, and I haven’t been. It took me awhile to figure out why.
Sunday during church, the pastor said that Jesus wants to free us from duty so we can have delight. I love, love, love this and am grateful for it, but I’ve been struggling with it. Feeling like all of life is a duty I must endure. Ultimately I don’t believe that is what life is about, but I have been feeling so much of that lately. Being bogged down and heavy with the daily troubles of life. And I was reminded of my blog and the whole idea behind it. Viewing our duties as delights. This thought lead to the realization of the reason of why I’ve been struggling. I’ve been viewing parenting as a duty and not a delight. I’ve been getting frustrated with every instance of training and discipline, which is quite often these days. It feels like I have been living in a constant state of frustration, and all the little frustrations pile on top of each other, until they build up. If all of life is just a duty, then yes, I will always be frustrated, because there are so many little (and big) inconveniences that happen every day. But if I change my focus, and view these discipline (and other) issues as chances to build character into my child(ren), then my frustrations aren’t frustrations anymore. They’re no longer inconveniences, but opportunities.
Jesus wants to free us from burdens, not add them. This doesn’t mean that life will be easy or nothing bad will ever happen. It does mean that I don’t have to be burdened with parenting, I can be free to love and discipline/train my kids as I have been called to do. I love that word, free. It’s all about putting the focus where it belongs, and stop focusing so much on myself and what I need to do. So much weight has been lifted off and I feel my joy and peace bubbling back to the surface.
Speaking of peace, I came across this blog (The Peaceful Mom) today, and I am intrigued by it. She and her family live on an income of less than $28,000/year and feeds her family of 6 (with 3 teenagers) on $100/week. I love this idea, and am really inspired by this. What do you think? Could it be done?
Dear Brandie,
ReplyDeleteI am proud of your struggle to love your boys. I am proud that you know where to turn for wisdom and Jesus always meets you there. I am proud that you love them so much as to care more about their character than your own frustrations. I am proud that I can trust you to raise strong loving men (my grandsons) who know through your example where to go for wisdom. They will always look to their mommy to know what a woman's love looks like. By continuing consistently in the battle for their character, you show them each day. So! Keep on trucking through your parenting my dear! You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you as you have shown through these written words above.