Calzones and menu post

I haven't cooked anything new lately. Partly (or mostly) because I've had no motivation or energy to. I've cooked dinners, but mostly just stuff I've cooked before. When you're emotionally exhausted, it makes you exhausted everywhere...even down to your finger tips and pinky toes. And I've been focusing way too much on my lack of energy lately. So, today, I thought I needed a redirection of focus. I need to set some (small) goals and focus on the goals, instead of my lack of wanting to do anything. So, my goal this week is to cook something new.

I've been wanting to cook a real calzone for some time now, but have never done it, like with homemade dough and everything. I know it's nothing super extravagant, but I can't do extravagant right now. So, calzones it is!

Here's our menu for this week:


Thursday
Chicken noodle soup and bread

Friday
Crockpot roast, potatoes and carrots

Saturday
Homemade pizza

Sunday
One pot mac

Monday
Fish (cod) sandwiches and roasted veggies

Tuesday
Broccoli and cheese calzones

Wednesday
Small group night

Future plans

Lately, my thoughts and feelings have been so jumbled, I haven't even known where to begin to start a post. I've sat down and even started writing so many times, but have eventually just deleted what I started. I'd like to use work as an excuse, but that's just not the case. Yes, I've been working a lot, but that is not the whole truth. With my work, it's straight forward, I type what other people say and try to get their story down right. I don't have to think about myself or sorting out any of what's in my head. It almost makes choosing it over this so much easier. And then I think, well, I do have a ton to do (which comes with strict deadlines), therefore the decision to work over write is even easier. I can push my internal stuff aside and focus on someone else. And to be honest, work has been kind of a distraction for me, it keeps my mind busy, and I like that a lot.

But this blog has been a little constant thought in the back of my brain every day. Don't get me wrong, I love writing. I love writing about my life, and I really love having this blog...obviously, or I wouldn't have started it. But, when  you don't even feel like you have much to offer anyone (or anything else), it becomes hard.

Like I said, my thoughts and feelings have been a big ole mess here recently. And I've struggled with all I want to share on here. But the blogs I love most are written by people who aren't afraid to share their real selves, their real struggles. And ultimately, I want to be real. I don't only want to show the happy parts of my life, where I have it all together and everything is a delight instead of a duty...cause that's just not how it really is. So, here it goes.

Most of you know, Ross has been job hunting for what seems like forever. It's really only been since November or so, but it feels like a lifetime. The funding for his current job has run out, and they told him that he'd be covered until the end of June. At the time, it seemed like such a long way off, surely we'd have something else by then. But here we are at the end of June (almost) and we're still jobless, we're still in the same exact place we were all those months ago.

The word frustrating doesn't even cut it. I have struggled so very hard through this time, going from full of hope to hopeless. I've had complete trust in God one day, to having no trust the next day. It's been a roller coaster of feelings and emotions for sure. Ultimately I know God will take care of us, but when you have absolutely no control over or even knowledge of your future, and you can't see how God will work it all out, things feel a bit shaky, to say the least. It's definitely shown me Who my security must rest in. Not in my circumstances, not in having a job, not in the being in control of my life, and certainly not in being comfortable. This has most definitely not been a time of comfort. There have been days that I've cried. That I've wondered what in the heck God is doing, been frustrated with Him and wondering when He will give us an answer. But my faith and my marriage have grown too. Ross and I have grown closer together through this, learning to lean on each other more. And my faith... there are really faith-filled days when I am completely at peace and joyful in where we are, and what God is going to do, even though I have no idea what it is yet.

So, we are waiting now. And we are praying. And we continue to trust. It's a hard place to be in, but it's good, too. It's good because this is where the growth comes in, as a person and as a follower of Jesus.

James 1:2-4 "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."


And ultimately I know where and with who my future lies, so, what do I have to fear?

The most recent update is that Ross flew out to a research company in Richmond, Virginia last week to interview and he said it went really well. We are still waiting to hear back from them, so hopefully that will happen soon, but we are trusting no matter what the outcome is.

WAHM? (and a menu post snuck in)

I have added a new title to my lost list of qualifications. I am a wife, mom, referee, cook, keeper of the house, dog fosterer, hobbyist photographer, blogger, singer, baker, knitter, booger wiper, along with a billion other titles, but now I've added one more...working from home (part time, that is). That is why I've suspiciously been more quiet on the blog lately, there's just not enough free time in my days anymore. While I am so grateful for the opportunity to work from home and help contribute financially to my family, it hasn't come without a little kicking and screaming on my part...internally, that is.

I have mourned my "me" time, but I have also realized that there are more important things than just having "me" time. Yes, some "me" time is needed, but as much as I had before? I loved all the "me" time I had, but at what cost? Is that where love shines through, in the time I spend on myself?

Motherhood is all about sacrifice, and sacrificing some of my "me" time has been hard, but is ultimately what is best for my family. And it's been a blessing. I've thought over and over to myself other moms do it, I can too! 

I prayed for this. I have desired so much to be able to help out my family financially without having to work outside the home. So, while it's been hard, I've had to do some rearranging of my schedule. I even had to make a list of all the things I wanted to get done in a day because I'm not gonna lie, I was overwhelmed for awhile. It seemed like nothing was getting done. But, I am getting used to the new schedule and cherishing the "me" times I get even more now. And I feel that me and my family are better for it. :)

Even though this post has nothing to do with our menu, I'm gonna sneak our menu in for this week:


Thursday
Homemade pizza


Friday
Beef stew (bumped from last week)


Saturday
We will be birthday partying with friends that day, and Ross's sweet parents are taking us out for a belated anniversary dinner


Sunday
Baked salmon & roasted veggies


Monday
We will not be eating at home


Tuesday
We will be getting home late, so we may not eat at home this night as well. If so, it'll just be turkey sandwiches with chips


Wednesday
Not sure if we're having group this night. If not, then I'll fix up some chicken and rice. 

Marriage, duty or delight?

As a girl, I didn't have the traditional white picket fence dreams. I never thought I would get married, have a family, be a stay-at-home-mom and wife, these dreams just did not seem real to me. I never felt "normal" and didn't have dreams of a "normal" life. That's why I was so wild and crazy in my teen years. It's not that I didn't want the normal things, it's just that I never thought I was lovable or deserving of love, and never thought these things were actually attainable, so I dismissed them.

But after I met Jesus when I was 20, my dreams changed. Suddenly I wanted someone to spend my life with, and I sought to do just that. I didn't know just who it was God had in store for me. And I surely tell you, I never ever thought it would be the skinny, shaved headed boy from White Station High School who loved science, wore baggy jeans and would actually pick on girls rather than flirt with them.

I think it's so funny when I think back to how I knew Ross in high school, and who he is now, he's not the same boy, but I'm not the same girl either. 

Even though I would have never picked him back then, I couldn't imagine a man more perfect for me now. He balances me out perfectly, and he is fun, strong, confident, caring, silly, hard working, and the greatest Dad to our boys. He has made me a better wife and mother, and I am proud to call him my husband.

Most people think of marriage as a duty, and along with it comes so many negative terms, like "ball and chain", "tying down", "the beginning of the end" and many others, and that makes me sad. And I'm not going to lie, at times it feels like a duty. It's hard pouring your life out for someone else, self-sacrifice is no joke, people. But, it's in that where the delight comes in. Every time we die to ourselves, every time we kill that selfish voice inside of us that screams WHAT ABOUT ME??? and do something for our spouse, or for anyone else for that matter, we are strengthened, we are built up, we are more like Jesus.

I consider my marriage a delight, for sure. With the risk of sounding cheesy, at the end of the day, there is no one on this earth I would rather be with to watch old episodes of Friends with, or to watch some silly B movie we rented, to raise babies with, to grow old with, than the man I joined my life and flesh with 6 years ago today. He loves me, makes me laugh, challenges me, helps keep me focused and grounded, and he loves Jesus. It's not a perfect life, but it's our life...one that I love very much. What more could a girl ask for?

Rollups and menu post

I like easy things I can fix for lunch. Wraps, sandwiches, leftovers, something quick to fix, but also filling. So, when I got this recipe from The Pioneer Woman last week, I instantly wanted to try it.

I love rollups! And yes, I do love the fruit kind, but I'm not talking about that here. These are tortilla rollups, and the thing I love most about them is you can put just about anything in them, healthy or not-so-healthy. You know me, I love something that's versatile and easy (and can either be healthy or delightfully calorie-filled)!

First, I used the Mission Artisan Multigrain tortillas. I have yet to make my own tortillas, but I will do it someday!


I got started chopping fresh parsley and basil to go in the cream cheese spread and mixing it in...

                                                      

And spreading it on...

And putting it together....

I put turkey, tomatoes and spinach leaves on mine. I wanted to slice up a green pepper and put it on there also, but I couldn't find it...and incidentally it ended up being right in front of my face. I didn't find that out until after I made it, though. The story of my life...in the kitchen. Where did this go? Oh yes, there it is...hours after I need it.

First of all, I have decided that I hate chopping fresh herbs and I have no idea why anyone would ever do it. Second of all, the rollup wasn't very good. I think the error was in the cream cheese spread because it just didn't taste right. I am more than completely sure that it was something I did wrong, because cream cheese spreads are usually good. Maybe I'll try this again sometime...in a different way, although I'm not sure. It was an awful lot of work (chopping, mixing, etc) for it not to turn out well.

What are we eating this week?

Thursday
Homemade pizza

Friday
Ross and I are going out for our anniversary, so we're doing something easy before we leave: Roast beef sandwiches and roasted veggies

Saturday
We're having a cookout earlier in the day at my aunt's, so for dinner, I wanted to go easy: (Local) Beef stroganoff and bread

Sunday
Chicken pasta pesto (bumped from last week) & spinach salad

Monday
Steaks and baked potatoes

Tuesday
Beef stew over rice

Wednesday
Possibly group night? Or something easy

New toys!

Men love their toys, right? We've heard this over and over, and for any woman who's been married longer than five minutes, we've seen this in action. They love gadgets, electronics, and if they're able, sometimes that includes even big toys (boats, RVs, whatever does it for them). But girls, let's not fool ourselves. Men are not the only ones who have this problem. We love our toys too. 

Right? It may look a little different than what the men love, but we have our little things that make us giddy too. Maybe it's a kitchen gadget, a new tool to straighten or curl your hair, something to make your life easier?  I have a long wish list of "toys" that I would like to have someday, but for today, I wanted to share a few of my favorite toys that I've gotten recently that I love.

First, this knife:

My sweet husband knows how I've been desperately needing a new slicer, and because he loves me, he got me a super slicer by Wusthof. And let me tell you, the term "super slicer" doesn't do this thing justice. It is definitely super, and slices so clean...I am in love. (I will also *cough* mention that it slices so well, even through skin, and I have a cut already to prove this, ouch!)

And my second relatively new toy:

The Shark Navigator Professional...best.vacuum.ever. I've had several months to use this and I still love it. It has kept me from hating vacuuming, in fact, I've even started to like it a little. That alone deserves recognition right there. 

And I thought I would give this a try:

I like it okay, but honestly I don't know if I really like it any better than the other normal dishwasher detergent. I do like that it doesn't have a scent, and it does clean my dishes really well.

While I'm on the subject of house things, I am on the lookout for a decent mopping system, with natural products (like vinegar) that don't cost a ton and doesn't use the spongey type mops. Any suggestions? 

Short ribs and menu post

If you've never tried short ribs, you are missing out. Big time. I have cooked short ribs a few times now and every time, I fall in love even more. I would have never even thought about buying that kind of meat if it weren't for The Pioneer Woman, so I will be forever grateful to her.

I tried a new recipe for short ribs this week and while it was a flop, the meat still was tender and yummy. My favorite way to cook them is in tomato sauce for several hours in the oven and pour that over linguine noodles. However, I cooked short ribs and chicken that way one too many times and Ross has forbidden me to ever even think about making that for the next year or so. There are some really fabulous short ribs recipes out there (a list of great ones HERE), and The Frugal Girl just posted one HERE. However you cook them though, whether grilled, baked, braised, whateva, you will be a happy camper...if meat is your thing (which, of course, it is mostly definitely my thing), then you will love this.

What are we eating this week?

Thursday
Fish and roasted zucchini, broccoli and cabbage (bumped from last week)

Friday
Crockpot lasagna (bumped from last week)

Saturday
Pork chops and beans & cornbread

Sunday
Homemade pizza

Monday
Going to my Mama's for a little Memorial Day celebratin' with burgers on the grill (is there anything yummier than burgers on the grill?!)

Tuesday
Chicken pasta pesto and bread

Wednesday
Small group, easy dinner night