Monday, June 4, 2012

Marriage, duty or delight?

As a girl, I didn't have the traditional white picket fence dreams. I never thought I would get married, have a family, be a stay-at-home-mom and wife, these dreams just did not seem real to me. I never felt "normal" and didn't have dreams of a "normal" life. That's why I was so wild and crazy in my teen years. It's not that I didn't want the normal things, it's just that I never thought I was lovable or deserving of love, and never thought these things were actually attainable, so I dismissed them.

But after I met Jesus when I was 20, my dreams changed. Suddenly I wanted someone to spend my life with, and I sought to do just that. I didn't know just who it was God had in store for me. And I surely tell you, I never ever thought it would be the skinny, shaved headed boy from White Station High School who loved science, wore baggy jeans and would actually pick on girls rather than flirt with them.

I think it's so funny when I think back to how I knew Ross in high school, and who he is now, he's not the same boy, but I'm not the same girl either. 

Even though I would have never picked him back then, I couldn't imagine a man more perfect for me now. He balances me out perfectly, and he is fun, strong, confident, caring, silly, hard working, and the greatest Dad to our boys. He has made me a better wife and mother, and I am proud to call him my husband.

Most people think of marriage as a duty, and along with it comes so many negative terms, like "ball and chain", "tying down", "the beginning of the end" and many others, and that makes me sad. And I'm not going to lie, at times it feels like a duty. It's hard pouring your life out for someone else, self-sacrifice is no joke, people. But, it's in that where the delight comes in. Every time we die to ourselves, every time we kill that selfish voice inside of us that screams WHAT ABOUT ME??? and do something for our spouse, or for anyone else for that matter, we are strengthened, we are built up, we are more like Jesus.

I consider my marriage a delight, for sure. With the risk of sounding cheesy, at the end of the day, there is no one on this earth I would rather be with to watch old episodes of Friends with, or to watch some silly B movie we rented, to raise babies with, to grow old with, than the man I joined my life and flesh with 6 years ago today. He loves me, makes me laugh, challenges me, helps keep me focused and grounded, and he loves Jesus. It's not a perfect life, but it's our that I love very much. What more could a girl ask for?

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